Choices, we all have choices on how we decide to handle the circumstances we find ourselves in. We’re only human! If it takes a crisis to get you to admit this, God won’t hesitate to allow it, because he loves us. Problems force you to focus on one of two thing God or what the world has to offer. One is empty, full of drunk nights, getting high, using people and any other vise or option to take your mind of your problem. The other option God, choose to move closer to others in fellowship, build Christlike character, provide you with a ministry, and give you a testimony. You start to realize that every problem is purpose-driven.
Christlike character, love, grace, patience and putting yourself second. Love puts the focus on personal responsibility and improving ourselves rather than on demanding more from others. Most have heard the bible verse, Mark 12:31, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” But what if you don’t love yourself? Well, it prohibits you from loving the way we have been called to love not only your neighbor but those closest to you.
So step one, focus on myself and getting better. I didn’t ask to be paralyzed or battle depression, but here I am dealing with both and now I’m fighting and learning to give myself empathy and compassion as I go through this journey. And for once being kind to myself, this is hard and I’m doing the best I can. And figuring out how to love myself again.
I initially did not understand that God was allowing this pain to move me, to help me realize the suffering I had imposed on myself, Sarah, kids, family and others with my injury and illness. And aware of two options, did I have the strength and courage to face myself? Well, it was not easy and has resulted in many nights of tears, many nights of repenting and asking for forgiveness from Sarah, Titus, Gideon, Ezekiel, Jude, and others. And I could have easily continued down the path of anger and depression and started to look to other alternatives to relieve the pain and situation. And I honestly thought about the available alternatives like drugs and alcohol. But I didn’t!! I faced it head-on!
The world tells you to follow your heart, but if you are not leading it, then someone or something else is. The Bible says that “the heart is more deceitful than all else” (Jeremiah 17:9), and it will always pursue that which feels right at the moment. I want to dare you to think differently—choosing instead to lead your heart toward that which is best in the long run. This is a key to lasting, fulfilling life.
broken4purpose 
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